ONOFF
by VampirMagier515
Summary: Anime's most AWESOME TROUBLEMAKERS meet on an online chatroom. Why? 'Cause the world's too small for them. APH X DRRR! Minor Shizuo X Izaya and Ivan X Gilbert. Read and review 'cause I KNOW you will.
1. Awesome Chatroom

**A/N: Heya, guyz!8D It's been a while, I know. For starters, I couldn't use the fucking laptop because it's "Holy Week" and such. So I got a replacement: my DVD player!XD OK, so now I'll let you read a story I schemed up days ago (but was lazy enough to actually write it). A crossover between APH and DRRR! Enjoy.:3**

**ON/OFF**

**Chapter 1: Awesome Chatroom**

April 25; 7:00 AM; Berlin, Germany

"Bruder, you're already in front of the laptop this early? Why don't you just help me out with all these chores instead of wasting a free meeting-less day online?"

Upon hearing his little brother's complaint, Gilbert lazily turned to face him while munching on some chips. Ludwig was _always _an uptight ass.

"Didn't you just answer your question yourself?" he began. "We're lucky that goddamned American didn't hold another World Meeting like always and that means we're free to do whatever the hell we want! Why spend it on countless chores that aren't _actually _necessary since you do it _everyday_? Like grooming your dogs _thrice _a day. They're already getting bald, West." he finished, getting back to his internet surfing. However, the younger nation wasn't contented with his reasoning.

"C'mon now, Bruder. The dogs are living beings; of course they need high maintenance care. And when you think that what you do is `just enough', you will be unprepared for what lies ahead. So let's do the chores now!" the West German explained. Gilbert rolled his eyes as he faced him again.

"Look. Just because you can't see Feliciano today doesn't mean that you get to ruin my day as well. Hell, you get to rape the guy at least _five _days a week! Seriously…" he made a comeback, making his brother blush furiously.

"T-that's not—" Ludwig argued which Gilbert again paid no attention to.

"I got tons of sites lined up for me to see and invade. A lot of awesome things have happened since I last logged in (which was yesterday) and I even came across this cool site that hosts chatrooms worldwide! Ain't _that _awesome? Huh?" he declared with his trademark grin. With that, Ludwig sighed. There was no getting into the East German's "awesome" head.

"Fine. Have it your way." he gave up, leaving his brother's room and proceeding with his chores.

The sound of the door's lock clicking signaled unlimited freedom to the white-haired troublemaker as he excitedly typed a username and a password, clicking the "sign-in" button afterwards.

-Schwarzen Adler has joined the chatroom—

Tanaka Taro: Ah! We have a new user in the room.

Saika: Eh? Really?

Setton: Who could it be?

Schwarzen Adler: THE AWESOME ME HAS COME TO INVADE THIS CHATROOM'S VITAL REGIONS!

Schwarzen Adler: Praise me! Kneel before me!

Tanaka Taro: Uhm...

Setton: Could this be another one of those "internet trolls"?

Saika: I'm not sure...

Schwarzen Adler: Hey! I'm so NOT a troll!

Schwarzen Adler: I'm the same as you other users; seeking an AWESOME chatroom!

Tanaka Taro: Oh, I see.

Bakyura: Welcome to this AWESOME chatroom then, Adler!

Bakyura: With that attitude, I'm sure you're practically an outgoing dude.

Bakyura: We'll get along!

Tanaka Taro: Hey wait, Bakyura!

Schwarzen Adler: Of course we will!

Schwarzen Adler: I'm too cool to not get along with ANYBODY.

Tanaka Taro: Uhh well, in that case, I suppose you will...

Bakyura: Glad you see it that way, Taro!

Bakyura: Now then Adler, you just need to be careful from one user here.

Bakyura: "She's" a real DICK once you get to chat with her.

Schwarzen Adler: Oh?

Saika: Uhm, that's not something to say to someone new, Bakyura.

Setton: That's right! It could scare him...

Kanra: That's SOOO mean, Bakyura!~

Kanra: I'm not like that.=3=

Bakyura: Oh. Speaking of the devil.

Tanaka Taro: Ah, Kanra-san. Good afternoon.

Bakyura: You still buy that, huh?

Schwarzen Adler: Hahaha!

Schwarzen Adler: I've dealt with lots of other girls; why should THIS be any different?

Schwarzen Adler: I've been with this uber shy one, this incest-crazed stalker bitch, and this woman who was actually a MAN in disguise!

Schwarzen Adler: Isn't that enough?

(no replies as of the moment)

Bakyura: HAHAHAHAHA! ROFL!

Bakyura: You sure know your way around town, Adler!

Kanra: Adler-kun, that was funny!~

Setton: That's right. Except for the stalker thing...

Setton: It was kinda scary...

Schwarzen Adler: Well yeah, she scares the shit out of most people.

Schwarzen Adler: Let's stop talking about her 'cause she might appear out of nowhere like she often does when I'm near her brother.

Kanra: So you're bisexual, aren't you?

Schwarzen Adler: What?

Schwarzen Adler: No I'm not!

Bakyura: Kanra, you better shut up now or you'll pay for mentally scarring my new friend.

Saika: Yes. I think that's a good thing to do, Kanra-san.

Kanra: Why are you all ganging up on me?TT^TT

Schwarzen Adler: It's OK you guys.

Schwarzen Adler: Why don't we just talk about what YOU guys were talking about before I came here?

Tanaka Taro: Ah. Thanks for reminding me, Alder-san.

Bakyura: Are you sure you won't feel out of place?

Schwarzen Adler: Nah, I'm too awesome for that.

Kanra: You're quite the guy, you know?

Tanaka Taro: OK then. So, we were discussing about how bad Ikebukuro's been these past few days. Seems like there was a gang war again or something...

Schwarzen Adler: Huh? Wait.

Schwarzen Adler: Ikebukuro?

Setton: Adler-san, you're not from Japan now, are you?

Bakyura: Really?

Kanra: It was so obvious.

Bakyura: What was that?

Kanra: His username literally means "black eagle" in German.

Saika: He's German?

Saika: That's cool...

Schwarzen Adler: Danke, Fraulein!

Bakyura: What's that?

Kanra: Thanks, Miss!

Tanaka Taro: You seem knowledgable, Kanra-san.

Kanra: Oh, not really!~

Bakyura: Bitch.

Schwarzen Adler: So these gangs? Are they really that common in Tokyo?

Schwarzen Adler: 'Cause I have this Japanese friend who tells me a lot about your country; from cultures to the latest anime!

Setton: Oh, they're really common.

Setton: Most of them think that Ikebukuro is already their territory and that no one should come in their way; not even the police!

Setton: And the police are people you shouldn't mess with, by the way...

Schwarzen Adler: Ahh, now I see.

Schwarzen Adler: Tsk! If I were there in Ikebukuro, no one would even DARE to wreck havoc in the city.

Schwarzen Adler: 'Cause the only one who WILL be making trouble would be the AWESOME ME!

Schwarzen Adler: Hell yeah! They'll be BEGGING at my feet, asking me to SPARE their wretched lives, watching me DISSOLVE their own gangs with my BARE HANDS, and those jerks would be hailing me as the KING OF IKEBUKURO!

Schwarzen Adler: That is, if I actually LIVED there. Haha!

(no replies as of the moment)

Bakyura: ... I don't know what to say.

Kanra: YOU'RE SO COOL, ADLER-KUN!~

Tanaka Taro: Yes. Certainly!

Kanra: I wish you lived here!~

Saika: I don't know what Ikebukuro would be like if you DID live here. I wonder...

Kanra: You should fly to Japan TOMORROW!~

Setton: You're a headstrong person, Adler-san.

The Prussian couldn't help but smile.

Schwarzen Adler: Really? Well, I can't ACTUALLY go there even if I wanted to.

Schwarzen Adler: I'm busy most of the time and I don't think my friend would even want me in HIS country.

Schwarzen Adler: He'd probably kick me out, that bastard!

-PM Mode—

Kanra: Seriously, you have to go to Ikebukuro tomorrow.

Schwarzen Adler: Hmm? And why is that?

Kanra: You're pretty interesting, for a nation.

Schwarzen Adler: I know I'm awesome.

Schwarzen Adler: But honestly, men like you have FAR more better things to do than invite me to your city for fun.

Kanra: Really now?

Kanra: Won't you reconsider?

(no replies as of the moment)

Schwarzen Adler: Unless YOU shoulder the fees to get there, pal.

Schwarzen Adler: Then, I'm RARIN' to get out of this house for a trip to Tokyo!

Kanra: Haha. Have it your way, Gilbert.

Schwarzen Adler: You too, Izaya.

Kanra: How'd you know?

Schwarzen Adler: 'Cause I'm awesome. You?

Kanra: 'Cause I'm an informant.

- Schwarzen Adler has left the chatroom—

-Kanra has left the chatroom—

Tanaka Taro: Eh? Where are they?

Setton: That's weird...

Saika: I agree...

"Oi, West!" Gilbert called, walking in the guy cleaning his room.

"What is it?" the blond asked his now smirking older brother.

"I'm going to Tokyo tomorrow!"

April 25; 2:00 PM; Tokyo, Japan

"Oi, Namie-san!" Izaya called, walking in the girl cleaning his office.

"What is it?" the brunette asked the now smirking information broker.

"Someone's going to come and stay here tomorrow!"

**A/N: *awesomeness overload* Who knew I could **_**do **_**this?O_O I think I was merely motivated by this: ****youtube .com/watch?v=LWAEdZ4jVv0**** Honestly, I don't know if the characters are OOC and all so PLEASE bitch out your reviews!TT^TT I'm not that good in descriptions and just like I said, my humor runs low when I don't take "drugs". (I'm just kidding! Don't arrest me; I'm not an addict!) Danke schoen as always, everyone.:D**


	2. Warm Welcome

**A/N: I'm. not. dead. yet.=3= Here's chapter 2 of the story I don't know what the ending Now, some of you may ask: "How the fuck did they know each other?" Well, they clicked the username and POP! goes the user profile. Yes, that's MY theory. Now, make your own if you don't like it.;D**

**Chapter 2: "Warm" Welcome**

April 26; 3:00 PM; Tokyo, Japan

"Please remain seated. We are now landing at the Tokyo National Airport."

At that, a certain white-haired stopped playing his PSP (he was losing, anyway) and immediately looked outside the window where he was seated by. Yeah, all he could see was the airport and its buildings. But he couldn't help feeling all excited and in awe at the thought that he was in Japan! Sure, he's been to a lot of countries like Austria, Hungary, Italy, Russia, and many more. But Japan. The haven of anime, manga, j-pop, and games; the things even a German like him got very addicted to. Whatever that Orihara Izaya had in mind, whether it was good or bad, he just didn't care 'cause he got to freeload off of it.

He packed away his PSP, wore his backpack, and waited for the land. Since that "bastard Honda" didn't tell him anything about the climate (he really didn't ask, though), he decided to wear his jet-black leather jacket, a t-shirt underneath with the same color, plain jeans, white rubber shoes, and of course, his iron cross. At last; the plane landed. Hurriedly getting off, he overtook many people, without saying "sumimasen". Signs in kanji were everywhere though they had an equivalent in English under them. The way Gilbert walked through the halls was like a child walking in a candy store. OK, so he got distracted. Time to find Izaya; he thought…

That's when he realized: He didn't know what he looked like.

His Awesomeness couldn't believe he didn't ask how they were suppose to meet at the airport! He glanced around him and saw people holding cardboard signs for the people they were waiting for. But Gott; they were too many! He started to get irritated with it.

-THUD!—

"Hey! That hurt, you fuck!" Gilbert exclaimed to the guy who just hit his shoulder.

"Woah. Keep your panties up, dude. I was just passing." said the guy.

"What was that?"

"A guy PMS-ing? I don't even—"

"Alright. That's it!"

Upon facing each other, they realized that they looked EXACTLY the same; in clothing, in height, in eye color, except for the very small detail of their hair color. It was just like looking in the mirror! The two stared at each other until Gilbert reached the SMALL DAGGER that he had perfectly hidden in his jeans and pointed at the man.

"I don't care who the hell you are and why you look like me. Wanna fight?" he stated with that hooligan look of his. He just wanted a good fight to show the wretch not to mess with him. He always LOVED fights. For more information, visit Lithuania and/or Hungary.

The black-haired man in front of him simply smiled and shrugged, then picked the FLICK KNIFE in his pocket. (Airport security S. U. C. K. S.)

"Suite yourself, human." he replied as he too was in a mood to fight.

Gilbert was a little surprised when he saw the weapon but it quickly faded when he charged the man. Excellently, the man's flick knife shielded him from any injury and he got another knife from who-knows-where and threw it at his enemy. Used to battles, Gilbert swiftly avoided it and continued pursuing the mad man.

"What— are— you?" he said in between runs and dodges as they fought. People were already fleeing as the action gets more dangerous. (knives defied gravity) In no time, Gilbert got a hold of the guy and pinned him to the ground, his dagger pointed at the man's right side of the neck as that hand pinned the man's right hand. But amidst all that, the man laughed hysterically.

"I'm Orihara Izaya, an information broker. You?" he said.

Gilbert, in shock, let go of him and stood up. This guy… was the one he was looking for?

"I-Izaya?..." he managed to say. The said man cocked his head to the left, still lying down even though he was free to move, and made a curious little boy's face.

"Do we know each other?" he asked suspiciously. At that, Gilbert couldn't help but laugh out loud himself.

"It's me, you sick fuck! I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt!" he choked out. That made Izaya pause for a while and get a little surprised. Of course he was a top-class informant. But he never expected Gilbert to be THIS guy. (though, he had his doubts in the first place) To make it worse, he was LAUGHING in this situation! Any normal person would stare in complete shock if this were to happen. But not THIS guy.

They were both about to clear things up when the airport guards arrived.

"Oh, shit!" Gilbert exclaimed while Izaya got hold of his hand and started to drag him with him to escape.

"Hey! Where the hell are we going? They probably got the place surrounded!" the Prussian shouted while getting dragged along. Izaya simply smiled at him.

"This is not Berlin, pal. This is Tokyo." he stated.

"And by the way, welcome to Japan!"

**A/N: OK, so maybe you weren't expecting that.O_O God, I did this while getting bored of the Royal Wedding... I'll improve on this; I promise. Plus, my plots are too vague in my own head.=_=" Review, review, and most importantly, review. 'Kay?:) Chapter 3 would be up whenever so keep your panties up ('cause I'm keeping mine up as well). Danke, spasiba, salamat, and all that  
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	3. Let's Make a Deal, Shall We?

**A/N: Yo, humans!8D I can't believe a LOT of people actually get their asses moving just to read this story. Thanks for that!:D So, this is chapter 3, huh? Good. At the moment I was typing this, I was putting Miku and Luka's "Kagome, Kagome" on loop. How peaceful, right?X3 Let's get the "ball" rolling, now shall we? (subliminal hentai=)))**

**Chapter 3: Let's Make a Deal, Shall We?**

-TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK—

"How boring."

At that, the Prussian let himself drop and lied down the couch. He scanned the enormous room he was in: bookshelves, lots of them; two tables, one used as an office desk and one in front of him; a lamp stand; a PC; a laptop; and a mezzanine with tons of boring stuff as well.

This was ticking him off.

He didn't imagine that a guy like Izaya would have such a DULL room like this. Yeah, there were TWO computers to use and that's awesome since Ludwig wouldn't even let him borrow his laptop when his was accidentally put in "hibernate" mode. But still. He'd rather spend time in Roderich's room, damaging property than being in this "colorless" office! It reminded him of his days in Soviet Russia!

He looked at a girl who was making coffee by the office desk. She had her back turned, of course. She was undeniably taller than he was and had long, straight brown hair. Looked like somebody he knew, he thought. But he didn't care. He wasn't interested in women nor commitments. Then, he turned to face the black-haired informant who was busy packing stuff in two large bags to who-knows-where. That made him curious. Why the hell was this guy packing-to-leave when he, His Awesomeness, just got here? Maybe they were gonna stay in some cool resort or hot springs, perhaps? He should have known the guy was as unpredictable as he himself was as well.

"So, what's on your mind?"

Gilbert jolted at Izaya's sudden question. The said man smiled at him. He knew the answer but he loves humans very much to not be an ass. The nation, on the other hand, decided to lie.

"Uhh, I was just— uhm— thinking how much your life's like Ciel Phantomhive's, you know; you even have a Sebastian taking care of everything for ya!" the East German managed to laugh. "Ciel" laughed as well and looked at Namie with a grin.

"I told you that's what people will think of you, Sebby."

A vein popped on the woman's head as she placed the cup of coffee on the table in front of Gilbert.

"Well, I'm sorry I'm such a meticulous person." she said sarcastically which Izaya paid no attention to. This scene was quite familiar, Gilbert thought. That's when Izaya stood up and sat on the couch in front of him.

"Don't worry; there's no poison in there so drink to your heart's content." he said so Gilbert took the cup and drank.

"Hey."

"Yes?"

"Your assistant looks kinda scary, seriously. Do we really have to have her here?" the white-haired man said, afraid of any frying pans flying while he stayed in Ikebukuro.

"Hahaha! Nonsense. She behaves 'cause I pay her." Izaya replied.

"Oh, I see." Gilbert began, smirking. "Is she one of those girls you pick up at, let's see… Tokyo's 'red-light' districts? Wow, I didn't know you were THAT kind of guy, Izaya!" he remarked, laughing out loud, making Namie more irritated at the thought of a "new Izaya" in the building. Izaya lost his smile and became serious, looking at the floor. The Prussian worried. Of course, his mouth was ALWAYS a dick.

"Hey! T-that was just a joke, pal!" he stammered. The man gave a faint smile.

"Nah, it's OK. It's my fault; getting carried away, thinking of my lost love…" he said weakly, thinking out loud. Gilbert stared at him, surprised.

"Why… doesn't he understand my feelings?..." Izaya whispered though the man in front of him was able to hear it. He looked at him.

"I'm sorry. You know for sure that you weren't suppose to hear that because that, you know, is a very precious secret. And HE should be the first one to hear of that secret." the black-haired man explained making the ex-nation speechless.

"But I'll leave you off the hook since you ARE my best friend. Scratch that. You're my ONLY friend." he added, smiling his trademark smile. His friend smiled that way as well.

"Same here. To tell you the truth, I've never had a true friend before and I was always alone. But it was fun; don't get me wrong. And hell, do I have a lost love as well… So cheer up! You're way too AWESOME to sulk like a prissy teenage girl!" Gilbert stated and Izaya smirked.

"So, I'm as awesome as you, Gilbert?" he asked.

"Yeah! You are! You wouldn't be if you backed out from our fight in the airport and—"

"So I could be you and live your life for a while?"

"Huh?"

Gilbert paused and looked at Izaya. He had a feeling he knew where THIS was going to…

"You mean—"

"Yes. To simply put, Gilbert, I would like to try out being you for a week, just to see what a nation does in his everyday life. Plus, Ikebukuro's getting boring, despite the gang wars Celty mentioned to you, so would it be OK for me to wreck havoc in a DIFFERENT environment?" the cunning information broker explained. There was a short silence.

….

"WAHAHAHAHA! You say 'a week'? You wouldn't even last a DAY in my shoes! HAHAHA!" the Prussian laughed out, almost running out of air. Again, Izaya became a little surprised at his reactions.

"Does that mean you don't agree?" he asked. It took a while for the man to stop laughing.

"Are you kidding? A week without a noisy Italian, an annoying American, and a PMS-ing Hungarian sounds like I just died and went to heaven! Sure, I'd be you for a week too; how hard could it be? Now, gimme the specifics and off you fly to Germany. I have a date with Ikebukuro tomorrow!" Gilbert declared menacingly making his friend happier than he already was.

"Heh! There are no specifics. Except for one thing, though." Izaya said.

"What?"

"Annoy the hell out of Heiwajima Shizuo."

A/N: Can't believe the dicks got open with each other.O_O… Halfway through typing this, I listened to Sebastian Michaelis' character song: "Anata no Koe Ga Iroaseyo U Tomo" And guess what? I had a freakin' idea! I will make a SHIZUO DRABBLE about the song 'cause they have the same VA and all.X3 Oh, Izaya.~ I'll make you hard! Bwahahahaha!8D So there. Review now 'cause I know you love me *gets shot* DANKE!:D 


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